|Basic InformationMore InformationQuestions and Answers|Personality Disorder or Just a Horrible PersonHusband Jealous of my Friends and FamilyIs it Just a Name?!She's Lied About EverythingMy Family is Ruining my Relationship With my Boyfriend What Is Wrong With Me ?My Boyfriend's Children Won't Accept Me....Does my Boyfriend Have Feelings For His Ex Wife?I Have BulimiaArranged MarriageWhen is Enough, Enough?Breaking UpSoon to be 15 Year Old Step Daughter Who is Physically Abusive to Family MembersI Have Everything I Ever Wanted. Why am I so Miserable?Should I Stay or Should I Go?Wife's BehaviorStep-Daughter is Deliberately AbusiveIs my Sister a Pathological Liar?Lost in Limbo19 Year Old DaughterNeed Help in Building the BridgesLack of Affection and IntimacyIs He Seeing Someone?Marriage QuestionRespect + Anger ManagmentMy Husband With Daughter...... Resentment-Controlling Wife/Passive-Agressive HusbandGetting Married, Stepsons With Awful TempersAdult Son Interferes with Our RelationshipCo-Dependent MotherCan My Marriage Be Saved?On and Off Relationship For Almost 10yrsI Am Tired of MarriageI'm His 2nd Wife. Am I Destined to Play Second Fiddle to His daughter Forever?How do I Get my Husband to the Psychiatrist?Is it Inappropriate to Call my Daughter...Trying to Save 37 Years of Marriage With My Bipolar HusbandAlcoholism and FamilyBipolar Obsessive Thoughts and False Memories Crazy Mother In Law Ruining Our Mental Health and RelationshipCaught In The Middle Caring For Elderly ParentI am a Newlywed and Need HelpHusband's Relationship With His ChildrenSubstance AbuseChronically Ill Non-Compliant 19 Year OldChild With Possible Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)Obsession or ExcuseThe Marriage Corner: How Can I Move Past This?The Marriage Corner: Do You Think my Marriage Can be Repaired?I am Only 26 Years OldMy Boyfriend Saved a Picture of a Girl he Slept With in Case we Split up?Adoptive Mother of 3 Children - SunFlowerHow to Handle my Mothers State of Mind?JoylessShould I Fight For My Marriage?Homesick and Feeling Stuck.Why Does My Wife's Old Boyfriend Bother Me?How do We Get Her to Accept Us as Part of The Family?Another WomanBoyfriends DaughterHow do I Cope With a Parent Who is Trying to Ruin me?Worried About 4-year-old with DepressionSame Views On So Much, but Can't Get Along As A CoupleIt's Me or It's My Mother?Considering Divorce After Several Deaths in The FamilySchizophreniaSchizophrenic Relapse !Please Help Me..My 19 Year Old Daughter is Out of ControlMy 19 Year Old SonI Desperately Want to Make This WorkHelp!!!Marraige Life of my Parents Is This Abuse and What Should I Do?My Girlfriend's Family Is Ruining Our RelationshipI Feel Like I Have Failed - - May 20th 2010Relationship With My Bipolar and ADHD GirlfriendHuge Disapointment With My HusbandI Don't Really Care About Anything. What Should I Do?What Should I do?My Father, The Sociopath...What is Wrong? What Should I do With my 19 Year-Old Daughter's Anger Issue?Dominating Mother How to Help Our College Age Son with Depression and AddictionCan My Marriage be Saved?Personal HygieneHelp Me Please. What is Going On With Me?Parenting a Bipolar Child, Not Quite a Child, Not Quite an AdultAm I Being Used?Is This Jealous Behaviour Normal In a Child?Grandson BehaviorHusband's AddictionHelp or Do Nothing?Pregnant AgainConcernedAre my past sexual fantasies dangerous and unusual?It is finally an emergency. We need help. Please.Trauma and Drama: Why are friends and family rejecting me? Why is my mom following me around to take over my life?Does my husband have bipolar although the doctors said he doesn't?Fear of death and dyinghow to ask if the pics are her?Unhappy MarriageDid I push them too much?How do you turn your back on your 19 year old daughter?What To Do With a Dysfunctional Past SHOULD GRANDPARENTS INSIST ON SEEING A GRANDCHILD My husband wants to leave me My husband no longer believesMy Son's ProblemWhy do I beat myself up over what they think?Bipolar sister, Narcissist boyfriendUnderstanding my sonWorried about my sonChild jealous of moms relationship with her new husbandThis guy I bullyIs There Help Out There? Lonely Mother of ThreeAm I Depressed?Should I Give Up On This Marriage?dealing with demanding mothercan you give me some advice please?17 year old running the houseOut of control 24 year old sisterMy needy son hates my boyfriend. How can I avoid choosing one over the other?voice in my headtwo intelligent adults who feel they don\'t have friends19 Year Old Daugter--Out of control17 yr old refuses help with bi-polar disorderTeen in Full Retreatout of control 16 year old nephewDepression? Bi-Polar? Personality Disorder?i need help with my sisterGet SupportedForgotten or just ignored?Dealing with a family member's complete personality changeMother showering & sleeping in same bed with 5 year oldDisbeliefZoloft - good or badmy little sisterUnattractive regardless, why bother?Coping with Narcissistic BehaviorHow to Deal with the Loss of Familyhusband\'s angerDid I Love my husband and still abuse him emotionallyI have a hard time making friends with other guysHow to communicate to a \'feeler\'homesickhow can i control morbid jealousyHow can I open up and become my old self again?Advice for my unhappily married friendHow can I tell the difference?Cannot support old friend in her affairIs Something Wrong With Her?Need to find a reason for the abuseMom's Unlisted NumberHow to help a Womanizing friend?'Extremely controling' wife and passive husbandA Habitual Liar's Lamentthe way out is through the doorDrug Addict SonAngry At Ex-BoyfriendViolent SisterWhen Will My Boyfriend Grow Up?A Marriage Outside The CasteAngry MomSeeing A Married ManDisordered Family Member BehaviorMy RoommateA Mean, Verbally Abusive WomanStepson With Personality DisorderMom's ProtectorBusted By A 5-Year-OldGetting Along With Narcissistic RelativesPossibly Molested DaughterDirty NieceHelping My SisterCongenital LazinessBlossoming Paranoia?Is Anxiety A Hereditary Factor?Enmeshed With MumHypochondriac DaughterAbusive FatherGoing CrazySelf-Abusive Step-Daughter(Wo)man In The MiddleParanoid DepressionWithdrawn BrotherDysfunctional FamilyParanoiaMy Mother Is Ruining My LifeCowardly StepdadDaughter's Violent MarriageMy Father Dislikes HimHistrionic Sister-in-LawLong-Distance SupportPersonality Disordered GrandmotherDo I Tell My Children I'm Depressed?Father In RomaniaMom's VentingUnhappy In An Arranged MarriageToxic ParentsA Situation For Tough Love?Avoiding Her ParentsBoarding School BluesDepression Affects The Entire FamilyInternet RelationshipI Want To Leave, But For The Children ...Public MenaceSomatization and HypochondriasSelf-Injuring SisterFamily BoundariesDealing with DivorceTrashed HouseRelationship TriangulationWhat To Treat First?Love TriangleProblematic ParentsHis Mother is Ruining Our RelationshipManaging PrioritiesTime to Cut the Apron StringsMommy's New BoyfriendBusy and WantingOver-Protective MotherHe's Not HimselfJealous of My Fiance's FamilyYoung LoveDifferent ReligionsMy Husband's Daughter...My Dad the DictatorMy Children Aren't Speaking..Dogs Instead of Children?My Wife is DepressedFalling ApartProblems with My DaughterLinksBook Reviews
The Marriage Corner: How Can I Move Past This?Mon, Jan 16th 2012
How long have you been together? 8 yrs
What is your age range?40-45
Please share your story:
My Husband and I met Dec 8, 2003. He had been married twice before and I had been married once before. About a month after we met he moved himself and his 4 children in with me. We got married in August of 2005. Throughout our relationship he made online dating profiles and contacted many women on them. Each time I had caught him he told me it was my fault. He said that, if I had done this that or the other, he wouldn't have been seeking out other women. Each time I told him that this was unacceptable behavior and I wouldn't have it. Each time I stayed.
In July of 2007, after having a car accident where I broke my back, he left me so that I was homeless and in the hospital. I went to northeast to stay with some friends and my children and I started making a new.
In October of 2007, after 2 months of begging me to come back, I did. We found a house in a small town and, if he left me again, the house would be in my name and I could afford it on my own.
In November of 2007, I found out that he had been having a relationship with a woman from Ohio. He's is an OTR (Over The Road) truck driver. Once again, he claimed it was my fault. We went on for a year with nothing new happening. Once again, I was trying to get my self esteem back and learning to trust him.
In January of 2009, I found out that he had been having a relationship with his daughter-in law's sister from Georgia. Once again, he said it was my fault. Through all of this, he told our old church, his family and friends, and my friends, horrible lies about me. He said I abuse the children and him, I spend all the money, I cheat on him and etc.
In January, he says he got saved, accepted Christ into his heart and his life. I was thrilled, finally he would have a higher power to answer to. Then, the bomb dropped. October 15, 2010, 3 months after we adopted our baby, one month after we dedicated our baby, I caught my husband in his truck with his second ex-wife. This is the woman who cheated on him numerous times, who left their young children alone to go have these affairs, the woman who chose a child molester over him and her children.
That weekend, he said the affair was over. Then, I found him in the truck with her again. That was the same day I found out that my recurring ovarian cancer was back. I tried to get over it, to believe him. I think I wanted to believe him, but on November, 1, 2010, he was in the truck with her again.
This time, I kicked him out and started divorce proceedings. Through the whole time we were separated, he became insanely jealous. Every time I would leave the house, he accused me of going out with other men. I did not. To me, marriage vows are very sacred. On Nov. 29th, I found out he was seeing other women besides his ex-wife, women he had met online.
Don't ask me how or why, I don't fully understand it myself, but on Christmas day, I let him come home. Since that day, he has said that God has shown him how wrong he was in what he did to me, that I taught him unconditional love. But I can't get over it. Any of it. I will be going along fine, and suddenly have gut wrenching flashbacks.
I love him, but there are times I can't stand his voice, touch, the sight of him. I am trying to forgive and forget, but when I ask questions all I get from him is, "I don't remember." He tells me it is in the past, forget it and get over it. How do I do this? Some days, I just cry, some days, I just want to walk away. I want to know why, why did he do this to me over and over again? I know I am partly responsible, because I allowed him. I kept taking him back.
What should I do now?
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Marriage Corner staff respond to your marriage problems questions from the perspective of training in clinical mental health and psychotherapy.
- The intent of Marriage Corner and Mentalhelp.net is to provide to provide general educational information to the readership of this website. Responses from staff and readers should not be understood as psychotherapy or specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by the Mentalhelp.net staff or to people making their submissions. No correspondence takes place.
- Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. MentalHelp.net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. This includes making any changes to your personal relationships. If you are taking medications or are in psychotherapy, do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication and do not stop psychotherapy without first consulting with your physician or psychotherapist.